So Folks, today am going to discuss and educate people regarding the the famous verse Qur’an 4:34 [surah AN’-NISA aayat 34] which the Christians and Islamophobes often bring up to show that Qur’an allows Muslim Men to beat their wives and bash them for no reason. Well that’s ceratinly not the case.Really I don’t understand why christians get so worked up about this. They are so into this verse. Did you know 1500 women in the US die because of domestic abuse every year? And they believe Islam allows domestic violence. Do you see again why we’re always looking at the christian views of Islam? The thing is, the Western Society we live in is very sensitive to family violence. Due to the fact many wives are battered by their husbands, rights orginizations have become so influenced that they object any physical motions towards women, whether it’s in real life or on paper. They’ve also got support from the media and citizens like us. So hearing the allegations, opinions and thoughts that Muslim men can beat their wives is understandable, from their point of view. Though what Islam says about this and what Westerners interpret are completely different. You cannot compare the two.
The Qur’an is not meant to be understood by reading one verse. It is a book which needs to be fully read to know what is happening and what’s going on. The same goes for everything in life.
Islam has given Muslim women a voice, to be heard. It has given her freedoms, rights, and obligations. As a matter of fact, Muslim women have MORE freedom than Muslim men. Men have been put in charge in terms of protection, finances, shelter and so on. Women have not and they’re still placed on a higher level. Throughout the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him), we see women have to be treated kindly. So if Islamic Scriptures give women all this, why is this included out of nowhere? Well lets think.
First there is no reason for a Muslim woman to rebel, if she already has more freedoms and a higher status in an Islamic Society than men. Second what do women possess that men do not? What do they have that can give severe consequences? Can you guess why women have been told to dress modestly? (which by the way just means wearing comfortable clothing that isn’t too tight, doesn’t reveal any body parts and plainly loving for who you are not how you look. Only God judges)
Verse 4:34 has 3 steps for a man to take. They all are no joke, serious approaches for serious situations. So we can see these are for the RARE issues, directed towards the MINORITY of Muslim women. ALLAH is being clear how he wants his worshipping women to behave and be like.
Questions about this verse have been asked by Muslims before. If you go to internet, reading Islam online or basically any scholarly source, they use the term “behavior” in regards to women. It’s because they expect you to already know what that means in this context, which is why they don’t go heavily into detail and analyze from the beginning to the end. But for this one time we’ll do a full analysis to educate non-believers and Muslims.
And it should be noted, that after reading this section on “wife beating”, that this verse applies more to Un-Islamic societies. Unfortunately many Muslim Nations are Christianized today (be it clothing wise, gambling, prostitution or socially etc). It may also apply to Christian/Jewish wives since Islam allows Muslim men to marry CHASTE women of the book. Below, after I’ve done refuting this alleged claim, I’ll explain about this and how it can’t be used today and why this verse was put in the Quran. Anyways let’s begin analyzing An-Nisa verse 34.
First let me post the entire verse and then I will analyze it and explain in detail. So, the verse in question is :
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). [Qur’an 4:34]
Lets look at it line by line:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means….”
As I said before this is a COMMAND by God to protect and maintain women. This means men give women their FULL 12 basic (same as men) rights, they provide housing, food and medical care (in Islam a man’s wealth is to support his wife and family FIRST while a wife’s wealth (however she gets it) is for herself ONLY). A wife should respect her husband for serving her (like a man or a woman who has servants would respect them working for him/her). In a relationship, it’s known that men and women behave different. Women need love and men need respect. We see in verses and hadees women get what they need.
“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard…..”
So again the line talks about women needing to respect her husband’s efforts to serve and please her and keep her happy. Take note of the part where it says women guard what God would have them guard. This refers to a woman’s private parts and chastity. They should cover them up and not show it off. Also it says the Muslim women are obedient (not in the case of obeying her husband like a dog. Ephesians 5:22, 5:24 don’t exist in the Quran) to Islam. Here we see the man’s need which is, as I said above, respect. And since the husband is the “Man of the house”, he needs to know everything. Everything/everyone that enters or leaves the house has to be known by the husband, for various reasons (like security and again respect). He is the head of the household which means all decisions are by him, BUT the Qur’an clearly says men HAVE to discuss and take advice FROM THEIR WIVES before making those choices (like in a democratic government, state leaders must have approval from the congress and parliament. This is how Islam works as well. And this is all absent in Christianity. In Christianity the husband can be a dictator and the wife silently has to submit). The reason a man gets to make the decisions is once again about that respect thing. I’ve got countless articles by female and male psychologists and counselor’s who highly recommend wives give their husbands authority over the household and certain things. That is the main factor of that respect thing.
Islam expects women to be righteous (like above in the verse), which means being mature and follow rules. Go look in a school classroom. Girls are the ones who listen and don’t misbehave. They abide by all rules. So why should they misbehave when they’re older? When they’re more vulnerable to rapes, assaults, harassments and so on? Women don’t like any unwanted attention, especially by creepy men. It annoys and pisses them off. Am I right or wrong? It’s common sense for her not to put herself in these types of situations.
“As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct….”
Again as Islam respects and honors women, it has no respect to women who don’t respect themselves.
Let’s see the last part of 24:31-“They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies.”
The verse literally speaks for itself. Muslim women should not/cannot be sluts and whores (basically the haraam women). They should not/cannot expose themselves everywhere- TVs, computers, billboards, banners, public places etc. They shouldn’t make themselves objects so they can sell products, like how many businesses do. These can have negative influences on young boys and especially girls (i.e they need the “perfect body”, they need to show their beauty and not hide it, they need to lose weight to look good etc). Men do not like their women being like this (you don’t even have to use religion to see this; it’s a man’s nature). This is one of the few soft spots in males (yes guys have feelings too). So is this fair to a man, when he’s told to serve women?
In Islam, as it is the husband’s duty to provide and protect for the family, it is a wife’s duty to raise children and obey her husband (since children learn from, and are more attracted and emotionally attached to their mother’s and vice versa). The first role for women is motherhood. Obligations should always come before what we want.
Women in Islam cannot go astray, as they hold important positions according to Islamic values. The “naughty” and “bad” girls do not exist in Islam. For example I was recently in Las Vegas. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Girl’s pole dancing in public, nude women portrayed on hotel buildings, the skimpy outfits. I was really concerned about my little cousin sister who was being exposed to all of this. Every few minutes I had to distract her, every few moments I had to get in front of her to block off her view.Another example, and we all know it, is when we rent a movie or watching television and have a family night with you know, kids. We can’t keep our finger off the forward button just in case that one random girl appears wearing revealing outfits like lingeries,bra-panties,and any other sexually provocative outfits. On the top of this we are exposed to Condom ads, bikini ads, and other nasty advertisement on Television.The women who wear racy clothing, who hold party girl images have no place in Islam. And these women who want to be loved for their bodies are very insulting to other women. I mean just have a stroll at night during downtown. Go to nightclubs, watch music videos. What’s so common about the women in these? God gave women wonderful features and abusing the beauty given to them by their creator shows the weakness in the faith [unless your Christian where the bible appallingly speaks about a woman’s body that were created for men, and should show it off (it literally does in the song of songs and songs of solomon!). Continues to show which faith oppresses and degrades women doesn’t it].
A woman with her sexuality can get anything she wants. And again that goes back to abusing what God gave her. This is why Islam calls for women to dress modestly (ironically, nearly all schools and many work places in the world do too). Being modest separates a Muslim woman from a Non-Muslim one. Now I’m not nagging on every Non-Muslim girl, but you know… the ones who come out at night and the ones who want to be loved for their bodies. Since women are a temptation and an urge for men, the more they cover the less they’ll be targeted. The less problems they’ll face. I continue to this day survey and ask women about what they think of those sluts, whores and women who want to be loved for their bodies. USUALLY they agree with me on how they shouldn’t exist (you all yourself can try this).
They say what I say so we know why God put this verse in the Quran. Also quickly see verse 4:19:
“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.”
Right here the verse tells men cannot be harsh to women unless they’re expressing open lewdness which means exposing the body for attention and whatever else I said above. Otherwise men must be nice and fair. To add a little more, lets look at this hadith:
“There are two types of people who will enter the Hell-fire, whom I have not (as yet) seen: People having whips similar to ox-tails with which they will beat people, and (secondly) women who will be dressed yet appear to be naked. They will seduce men and be inclined towards them. Their heads will be like the swaying humps of bacterial camels. They will neither enter paradise, nor smell its fragrance, even though its fragrance can be smelt from such and such distance.” [Narrated by Abu Hurairah, Recorded in Sahih Muslim, no. 2128]
“admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they repent, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).”
I’d like to note that it is well known, any type of physical and quick gesture towards a woman gives her a surprised and fearful feeling. It’s just how a woman’s body reacts.
So there’s 3 steps:
1) Talk to them not to do it again
2) Don’t share the bed with her
3) Hit (what the arabic word “daraba” is most understood as Hit. Just a note the Quran can only better understood in arabic. When translating any language to english, you are not going to get the same meaning in the original language. You have to go through conjugations, you need to swap a few words around here and there to make sense.) or it can be translated as tap or even leave. Some translations have both. “Daraba” has a varety of meanings and is frequently found in the Quran, though none is related to any sort of physical gesture besides verse 4:34. And notice this is the LAST resort if the #1, or #2 steps don’t work. This verse doesn’t mean its “domestic abuse”, like many christians put it as. Muslim men can’t raise an arm on their women unless the reason provided above (and really 99% of Muslim women do behave, act and dress appropriately). Moreover it doesn’t apply to just any women but “THOSE WOMEN on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct….”
Just read the hadees below:
Sulaiman bin Amr bin Al-Ahwas said:“My father narrated to me that he witnessed the farewell Hajj with the Messenger of Allah. So he thanked and praised Allah and he reminded and gave admonition. He mentioned a story in his narration and he (the Prophet) said: “And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they are but captives with you over whom you have no power than that, except if they come with manifest Fahishah (evil behavior). If they do that, then abandon their beds and beat them with a beating that is not harmful. And if they obey you then you have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you. As for your rights over your women, then they must not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that you treat them well in clothing them and feeding them.”[ Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1163]
Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Fear Allah regarding women. Verily, you have taken them as a trust from Allah, and intercourse has been made permissible by the word of Allah. Your rights over them are that they do not let anyone in the house you dislike. If they do so, then you may strike them without causing pain. Their rights over you are that you provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.”[ Sunan Al-Kubra Al-Bayhaqi 8849]
Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner. I have left among you the Book of Allah, and if you hold fast to it, you would never go astray. [ Sahih Muslim 1218 a]
The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her. This shows it is more of a psychological thing then a physical one and the purpose is only to maintain the chastity and mutual love and affection of the spouses. If a wrong conduct of the woman is not checked then surely the relation will be adversely effected.
The Qur’an says after any of the steps, if a woman realizes she’s wrong, husbands have to forget the incident(s) that occurred, not bring it up and annoy their wives about it. Furthermore the last few words “God is most high and above you all”, because it’s RIGHT AFTER and in the CONTEXT, it means God is great and high and Men do not dominate women, because all glory and worship is owned by him and NOT to men (centuries of men being superior to women stopped when Islam came. That there is no one higher above women and men but God alone).The last words probably apply more so to men, for them not to take advantage or anything to far.
Qur’an 2:231, says men can’t keep or retain women to harass or torment her.It is transgression to retain them merely for harassment; and whoever’ does that indeed wrongs his own self. If the women in ANY way are tortured, then man is sinful. (2:231-Do not retain them to harm them so that you transgress limits. He who does this has wronged himself).
The Quran clearly says husbands and wives are sources of comfort. Also the holy book mentions couples should live in peace and tranquillity, and that men and women are garments for each other (Qur’an 30:21; 7:189 , and 2:187).
How did Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) treat his wives? With love and kindness. And we’re all to follow him.
A man can’t use any sort of physical gesture towards his wife in blind anger. Now if a Wife who fears from her husband has been automatically granted divorce- “If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men’s souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint, God is well-acquainted with all that ye do. (Qur’an, 4:128)”
And let’s not forget verse 4:19 where men have to be nice and fair to their wives and live with them in kindness and with honor. So it’s obviously clear 4:34 refers to Muslim women acting like the already hell-bound girls.
Another verse has it that Abraham was commanded by God to listen to his wife and obey what she wanted (the exact verse escapes me).
Prophet Muhammed pbuh said:
“Paradise lies at the feet of the mother.” [Ibn Majah, Sunan, Hadith no. 2771,Sunan An-Nasa’i 3104]
Narrated Abu Huraira:A man came to Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) and asked,
“O Allah’s Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?”
The Prophet(PBUH) said, “Your mother.”
The man said. “Who is next?”
The Prophet(PBUH) said, “Your mother.”
The man further said, “Who is next?”
The Prophet(PBUH) said, “Your mother.”
The man asked for the fourth time,
“Who is next?” The Prophet(PBUH) said, “Your father. ” [Al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548)]
“The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.” [Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.]
This hadith above meaning Men have to follow verse 4:19, to be nice and kind to their wives.